Fail-bruary

It’s possible that I’ve taken on a lot this year and I’m failing at all of it. 😛

It’s not for lack of trying, it’s for lack of being able to chillax and clear my head.  Some of that will get better now that CJ has his own car, because it means I won’t have to spend the 90 min+ after work getting him and coming back, and that I won’t have to either make the drive twice on Saturday or spend the whole day on his part of town.  So that’s something.

Part of it, though is that there’s just a lot on my mind.  My brain works in lists.  There’s the work list, which usually just has “go to work…” in it, unless we have something special planned, then it’s “go to work…  Tuesday, zoo… Check the weather for hiking…”  or whatever.  There’s the volunteer list, which as of late has just been the zoo, although now that we both have cars again, I can actually get to the Parthenon on weekends, so that will be added back in soon.  Which also may or may not include the geocaching list, depending on how you want to look at that one.  (Geowoodstock registration, items for a major event we’re planning, a few caches that I want to cross off my list, etc…)  There’s a list for the wedding, which is ridiculous and I’m working at keeping it at bay.  That one usually ends up a little shortened – “Call potential venue.  Get date.  –> talk to photographer and officient” and a drop box of “everything else goes here for now” which will open like a pandora’s box of fake snakes (you know those things disguised to look like something else until you open it and BOOM CAPALDI!) as soon as the three things aforementioned happen.

There’s a project list, too, and that one’s the one that’s getting a little crazy.  CJ got it in his head that he wanted to do 200,000 words this year, which I didn’t think was a bad idea.  I’ve noticed the last couple years that I write pretty much for NaNo and not a lot at all for anything else, so it seemed like a good idea to have a minor goal year round.  Something to get me writing regularly.  And I figured I could incorporate other things that I wanted to do – finish the NaNo story I’d been working on, find a couple new places to submit, etc.  And combine it with other goals I wanted that were book related – editing, reading, blogging, etc.  But it makes the list ugly.  I tried to organize how I spread it out, but the list looks pretty nasty in my head.  Oh, and I’m doing LetterMo, which doesn’t count in my word count, but I include on this list, so… Oh, and I’m behind on like, every single point on the list, so as you can imagine, the items aren’t just there, they’re bright red and flashing.

I wish I could relax enough to get to it.  I wish I could go hiking and get back into Yoga.  Some of that’s not my fault.  I’m still looking for a yoga class I can go to that isn’t when I’m supposed to be at work.  (I don’t think the toddler is quite ready to attend one yet, and I really want the structure of a class to make sure I’m doing it right).  It’s been raining so many days that they actually think they’re going to break the 40-year-old record.   So those things are out for now.

In the meantime, though, if it weren’t for blog posts, I wouldn’t have any words written at all.  (Which is part of why I don’t care if I’m rambling right now. lol!)  I decided when I started that I could count blog posts since they’re technically creative non-fiction.  And I wanted to do 30 letters during LetterMo, and I think I have five done.  I have received the first few, though, so I just need to reply to those and get my count up, I think.   And mail the ones I have sitting here – although I’m out of stamps.  I had stamps, and then CJ got carjacked, and my bag of stationary that I’d had at the hospital got taken because it was in his trunk.

Alas, I’m wasting time, I guess.  I think I’m going to go reply to a letter and then get back to my fiction.  I hate being past deadline, but at least the editor doesn’t care as much as she should.

 

Goals that I’m failing at :p

1. 15k per month* – I’m at about 6k, though, so that’s not as horrible as it could be.
2. Finish Kansas, Finish Nora.  – I’m about halfway with Kansas, and about 5k from finishing Nora.
3. Print Nora. – Obviously, this has to wait until I’m done with it, but I am going to do a bunch of editing in March for EdMo, so I want to get ready for it this month.
4. 30 letters in 30 days.  – I think I’ve done about 5.  Which is decidedly not about 30.

 

And stuff that I need to have done in the next few days:

1. Check with the venue.  Confirm a date.
2. Msg photographer and officient of choice.  Verify fees and availability.
3. Start looking into save the date stuff (making my own, but I need to at least decide where to buy the stuff from)
4. Etc…

 

 

I’m tired, okay? 😛

 

*okay, the goal is really 16,667 per month, but I’m giving myself a little leeway by doing 500 a day.  I know realistically that if I also succeed at NaNo, I’ll be way ahead of 200k at the end of the year, and 15k is easier maths.